Funny Valentine Day Poems 2018:
Funny Valentine Day Poems 2018 – Sometimes you are in funny mood and want to wish in formal and also in informal way. After wishing or greeting him or her in actual way, you try to be a lil funny. Here is collection of funny Funny Valentine Day Poems 2018. Valentine poems come in a lot of forms. This funny Valentine’s Day Poem is mostly nonsense, but it gets the point across. You can use it as a Valentine greeting card message.
Funny Valentine Poems:
If I were a key, I would lock you;
If lightning, then I would shock you;
If I were a pier I would dock you;
If I had a band I would rock you.
If I were a spoon, I would feed you;
If I were a house, I would deed you;
On Valentine’s Day, I must plead you,
Valentine, I really need you!
Oh will you be my wallaby?
Asked Mr. Kangaroo.
For we could find so very many
jumping things to do.
I have a pocket two feet wide
and deep inside,
my dear, you’d ride…,
Oh, come and be my bouncing bride,
my valentine, my side-by-side,
I am in love with you.
My love is like a cabbage
Divided into two,
The leaves I give to others,
The heart I give to you.
If I were a streetlamp, I’d light up the night
Whenever my sweetheart–that’s you–came in sight.
If I were a candle, I’d light up the room,
Inhaling your body’s delightful perfume.
If I were a chair where you happened to sit,
All of my senses would just throw a fit,
Because where you’d touch me, you’d set me afire,
You’re hot, and you burn me with love and desire.
All of my senses–sight, smell and touch
Are screaming at me: “I love you so much!”
My feelings are potent, and I want you to know
The more that I know you, the stronger they grow.
I’m begging you, please, to tell me you’re mine
My luscious, my perfect, my sweet Valentine.
Funny Poems on Valentine day:
I look at a tree,
And what do I see?
My Valentine’s face
Smiling back at me.
I spot a cute rock,
But, oh what a shock,
For it reminds of you
And that is no crock.
Everywhere that I turn,
My feelings just burn
With thoughts about you,
My love please don’t spurn!
Each rock and each tree,
Each cloud and each bee,
The earth and the sea,
It all reminds me…
I love you awesomely!
It’s all I have to bring today –
This, and my heart beside –
This, and my heart, and all the fields –
And all the meadows wide –
Be sure you count – should I forget
Some one the sum could tell –
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.
Valentine, you make me silly;
You make my heart beat willy-nilly;
When I’m with you, the world is hazy;
Valentine, you drive me crazy!
Valentine, when we’re apart,
My need for you goes off the chart.
Will you be mine? Can I be thine?
Say you’ll be my Valentine!
Zoo style Funny Valentine day poem:
I’m an animal lover, I’m happy to say.
And I love them and pet them most every day.
So for you, Valentine, I thank heaven above,
Because you’re like the creatures I love.
You‘re cuddly and cute as a warm, playful kitten,
With your animal nature, my love, I am smitten.
You walk like a lioness stalking the plain,
With your dangerous eyes and your beautiful mane.
It’s such pleasure to pet you, as you sigh and you purr,
I run my hand over you, like stroking your fur.
I’m a strong Alpha wolf, with you at my side,
Sharing love, food and shelter, and feelings of pride.
These feelings of animal love we can share,
As I find different ways to show that I care.
So won’t you please be my own private zoo?
My Valentine, I love to play with you.
Vegie valentine poem:
You may not “carrot” all for me,
the way I care for you.
you may “turnip” your nose
when I plead with you.
But if your “heart” should “beet” with mine,
forever “lettuce” hope,
there is no reason in the world
why we two “Cantaloupe.”
Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o’er her face; Where thoughts serenely sweet express, How pure, how dear their dwelling-place. And on that cheek, and o’er that brow, So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below, A heart whose love is innocent! Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. Not a cute card or a kissogram. I give you an onion. Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips, possessive and faithful as we are, for as long as we are. Take it. Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring, if you like. Lethal. Its scent will cling to your fingers, cling to your knife.
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